


Poisoned with Love

by ObliqueOptimism



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/F, I don't know how that happened, M/M, Not Beta Read, Peter is a creeper, Silly little fic, Somehow not an AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-12
Updated: 2012-09-12
Packaged: 2017-11-14 02:35:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/510405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObliqueOptimism/pseuds/ObliqueOptimism
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not that they were trying to keep it a secret, but with the way everyone reacted when they found out it was as if they had.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Poisoned with Love

**Author's Note:**

> Well this turned out less cracky than planned. That's probably good though. I hope you enjoy it!

Peter walked down the stairs into the kitchen, his headphones down and resting on his shoulders, cord hanging loosely by his side. It was early in the morning and Stiles and Derek had gotten home late last night. They had some pack business to do in Nevada. And that made Peter very glad that Derek was the alpha because he hated Nevada.

The worst part of living with Derek and Stiles, Peter thought, was that they were both morning people. He never understood them. Not that he isn't a morning person himself, he is neither here nor there, but it still stood that they were too cheerful when they first got up.

Especially if they had sex before they got out of bed.

And morning sex was the only time that Stiles wouldn't peek into Peter's room and awkwardly mention that Peter should watch the new episode of True Blood or check out that new band - using his headphones, of course. The headphones Stiles bought Peter as a 'I'm-moving-in-with-you-and-Derek' present. They were the most expensive and soundproof headphones Stiles could find, and Peter was very thankful.

Looking around the kitchen, he took stock as to what his nephew and Stiles looked like. They looked a bit tired yet, but they moved around the kitchen with ease. It was Sunday so that meant breakfast with Stiles' dad, John. And it appeared as if this week they were bringing some sort of breakfast casserole. "Do I get a piece before you leave?"

Stiles turned and smiled, "Of course you do. Why wouldn't we leave you with food before we left?" Stiles asked as if it would be the end of the world if he didn't share the casserole with him. "Did you sleep well?"

"Haven't slept." Peter replied, grabbing himself some orange juice.

Stiles rolled his eyes, "I forgot, you bathed in the blood of your enemies when you were super crazy and that's why you don't sleep."

He and Stiles had a strange relationship, Peter knew that, but he liked it. Stiles cared for Peter, he was always very thoughtful to Peter. Most of the pack, as well as honorary pack thought it was strange and thought Peter should move out. Even though if he did no one would cut off the crusts from his sandwiches like Stiles did.

Before leaving the room, Peter turned to them, "Congratulations on your nuptials." As he walked away he smirked at hearing their surprised gasps and quiet conversation at how Peter knew.

"Thank you!" Stiles yelled before the clear sound of Stiles hitting Derek on the arm and a 'thanks' from his nephew sounded.

|(o)|(o)|(o)|

John greeted them at the door, pleased that they were on time. "Did your flight get in on time then?"

"Yep." Stiles nodded, putting the casserole in the oven to keep it warm while John made pancakes, "Glad to be back from Nevada too."

"Why don't you boys set the table and have a seat? I'll bring the food in a few." John said.

"Sounds good." Derek said, grabbing some silverware and doing as he was told.

After setting the places and pouring the drinks for everyone, Derek and Stiles sat down in their seats, which were across the table from each other. John always sat at the head of the table. They had this seating arrangement since the first Meet-The-Parent-Dinner and John had made sure that Derek and Stiles were across from each other so that he could watch them both very closely.

And because John was still in the habit of watching them closely, he noticed that they were having a quiet discussion about the pack and how tired they actually were and-

John put the casserole down with a slam, a knife fell off the table. The two looked at him and he looked back, "You guys are married now?" He asked, voice falsely calm.

"Uh-" Stiles started but cut off by Derek.

"Yes. While we were in Nevada." Derek smiled. "We didn't want to make a big deal of it."

Stiles snapped his fingers, "Yes, exactly! Not a big deal. It's not a big deal dad. It's all good. We don't need anymore toasters either."

John stomped back into the kitchen and brought out the stack of pancakes before forcefully dishing up everyone's food and angrily passing it around. "Did you think that maybe I had been thinking about how I was going to walk my son down the aisle since you two got together?"

"Dad," Stiles moaned, "I am not a girl. There wouldn't be any aisle walking."

"I had ideas for your wedding, Stiles." John pointed his fork at him, "And now they will never happen."

Stiles hid his face in his hands, "Oh my God."

"Sir-" Derek started.

"Well as you guys are married now might as well call me dad." John said sarcastically. Then his shoulders slumped, "Sorry, Derek. That was rude of me. But if you want, you can call me dad. I understand if you don't want to though."

Stiles peeked up and watched as Derek was frozen, eyes trying to puzzle something about before swallowing, "Uh, yes." Clearing his throat, he continued, "We just didn't want to make our marriage a big deal. It is something we wanted to do privately and when we were in Nevada is just seemed like the thing to do."

"I don't like it." John said, moving some food around his plate, "I would have liked to be there."

"I'm sorry, dad." Stiles said, "I didn't realize you felt this way."

John nodded, then narrowed his eyes, "Please tell me that you didn't have Elvis marry you."

Stiles burst out laughing while Derek smirked. "No, dad. We didn't have Elvis marry us."

John smiled, "Well then I guess congratulations are in order. And I promise, I won't make a big deal out of this."

"Thank you, sir." Derek said.

|(o)|(o)|(o)|

Allison grabbed her car keys and started walking to the door when her dad cleared his throat. Stopping she turned to him and raised an eyebrow.

"Going to the pack?" Chris asked, drying his hands on a towel.

"Yes." Allison held the word out, almost making it sound like a question.

Chris nodded, "Tell Derek and Stiles I say congrats." He frowned a bit, "Even though I'm late in sending them."

"Late for what?" Allison asked, "Congrats on what?"

Chris blinked and threw the towel on the table, "For getting hitched."

"What?" Allison's voice was high pitched.

"They got married when they were in Nevada." Chris said calmly.

"What?!" Her voice cracked.

"I take it you didn't know." Chris said thoughtfully, "Jerry did say that they wanted to keep it on the down low."

"Jerry?" Allison asked, "How does Jerry know and not me?"

Chris rolled his eyes, "I sent Jerry to follow them two weeks ago when they went to Nevada, Allison." Jerry was the hunter that Chris basically used to keep an eye on the pack, even though he acted more of an ambassador from the hunters to the pack while Allison acted like an ambassador from the pack to the hunters. It had been working out well. And the pack adored Jerry so that was helpful. "He signed the paper as a witness, actually."

"What?" Allison asked quietly.

Chris shook his head, "Did you think they weren't ever going to get married?"

"I thought that maybe there would be an actual wedding with the pack and everyone." Allison answered honestly. "And they haven't been talking about the idea of getting married and now they are and they still aren't talking about being married."

Chris shrugged, "It's not a big deal, Allison. They didn't want to make it one, so it's not."

"But marriage." Allison said. "Oh God, they got married before Scott had proposed."

Chris frowned, "Yes, but they have been living together, and you Scott haven't even taken that step."

"We're looking for a nice place and I keep getting fired from places because I can't tell my bosses why I have to suddenly leave to go and kick some evil ass while Scott is still working for Deaton who understands." Allison said, voice weak.

Chris nodded, "I know." He looked at the clock, "You better go though. And remember to tell them congrats from me."

Allison nodded, eyes wide. "Right. Of course." She paused before going, "What are their last names now?"

"Stilinski-Hale."

|(o)|(o)|(o)|

"Where's Peter?" Erica asked, looking around the house.

"He's out with Stiles." Derek said, not looking up from his book. "They are picking out new curtains for him, because Peter finally caught up on Torchwood and got very angry when Ianto died."

Boyd snorted, which woke Isaac up from his nap. "Of course, Pack Mom is taking care of his kids, even if one of them is an insane werewolf who had tried to kill him."

Derek finished his book and closed it, "Just because we're married now doesn't mean you get to call him mom." He sighed and walked to the library to put the book up because Stiles would kill him if he found the book just lying around after he finished reading it.

Once he was gone, the three werewolves looked at each other, eyes wide. "Did you know they were married?" Isaac asked quietly.

"No." Erica said while Boyd shook his head. "Why wouldn't mom and dad tell us they got married?"

"I heard that!" Derek yelled, "Stop calling him mom!"

"Maybe you're the mom." Boyd whispered.

"Heard that!" Derek yelled again.

|(o)|(o)|(o)|

Jackson showed up and dropped a box on the table without a word. He waited for Derek and Stiles to come down and investigate what was happening. He was glad that they were both completely dressed when they did show up.

"What's that?" Stiles asked, poking the wrapping.

"Wedding present from Lydia and me." Jackson said, then glared at them, "She's mad that you didn't tell her when you got married two months ago."

Stiles stepped away from the table as Derek said, "That's why we didn't tell anyone. We didn't want presents."

"And how did Lydia find out?" Stiles added.

Jackson shrugged, "How should I know how Lydia finds anything out. It's a toaster from Lydia and a thing of peanut butter from me."

"What?" Derek asked, eyebrows furrowing.

"You guys are almost out of peanut butter." Jackson said, voice flat.

"Well then," Stiles said, unwrapping it, "We'll take that. Is it crunchy or creamy? Doesn't matter, it's peanut butter."

"But you can take the toaster back." Derek said.

Peter stepped into the room then and without a word, grabbed the box with the toaster and then walked up the stairs. The three watched him go silently and listened to him go up to his room where he slammed the door.

"Apparently he needed the toaster for nefarious reasons." Stiles said, "I hope he's not going to use it to take over the world in an angry rage."

|(o)|(o)|(o)|

Stiles was glad that it was just him and Scott hanging out. They hadn't done that in a while. "I think Allison and I have finally found a place to move into." Scott said with a grin.

"That's great, buddy." Stiles laughed.

"Yeah, and like, if you want after we eat, I can show you and get your opinion on it?" Scott asked.

"Sounds like a plan dude." Stiles finished his burger.

"It's big and it's got a yard and a white fence, Stiles. It has a white fence." Scott said, in awe.

When the bill came, Stiles picked it up, "I'll pay, in celebration to you getting a house."

"Aw, you don't have to." Scott said.

"I want to, man." Stiles said, getting out his credit card. "I mean, you guys are getting an actual house, not even an apartment. That's awesome."

Because Stiles never let his real name be said, Scott always liked to watch him sign his name on official things, when he would have to use it. Only thing time-

"What the hell, are you writing a fake name on your credit card applications or something, dude?" Scott asked.

Stiles looked up, "Huh?"

"You wrote 'Stiles Stilinski-Hale'. What the hell, man." Scott said.

"Because that's my name?" Stiles tried.

"No, it's not. Stiles you can't just make this stuff up." Scott said.

Stiles chuckled and shook his head, "It's been my official name for almost five months now."

"What?" Scott blinked, clearly very confused.

Stiles shrugged, "Yeah, when Derek and I got married and did that awesome but long ass last name? I decided to make Stiles by legal first name. But I changed my middle name to my old first name, so it's still my name, y'know?" Stiles said.

"You're married?!" Scott yelled.

Stiles nodded, "Jackson gave us peanut butter as a wedding gift."

"Wedding gift." Scott repeated quietly.

"It's the only one we have accepted. Because didn't want gifts. But we had been low on peanut butter."

"Peanut butter." Scott said in the same quiet voice.

"Yeah, dude." Stiles said, "Crunchy kind."


End file.
